


The Best of Me and You

by Ukthxbye



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Awesome Sarah Jane Smith, Farewell Sarah Jane, Flash Fic, Gen, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Series 05: The Sarah Jane Adventures, memorial service of Sarah Jane Smith, response to RTD's Farewell Sarah Jane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukthxbye/pseuds/Ukthxbye
Summary: The Thirteenth Doctor slipped into the memorial of Sarah Jane undetected for one last goodbye and is flooded with memories.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Jo Grant, Twelfth Doctor & Sarah Jane Smith
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	The Best of Me and You

**Author's Note:**

> With the wonderful piece by Russell T Davies today, my heart insisted i write this. Look for "Farewell Sarah Jane" on youtube and BBC. Also meet Katy Manning and get you a hug. They are the best in the world.

Looking back was bad. Traveling alone was bad. "Always liked breaking rules," the Doctor murmured out loud to herself. Empty TARDIS humming soft, unquestioning of the path they both were taking for once. 

She'd kept grins big and answers to questions vague as always when she dropped off Yaz, Ryan and Graham. She'd gotten quite good after all this time. 

She landed a solid kilometer and a half from the reception hall and strolled, hands shoved deep in her pockets as she pushed against the chilled air. The sun was achingly bright, and she reached for sunglasses and chuckled, remembering Graham never gave them back. 

People already stuffed into the building, spilling out the doors, and it warmed her hearts in that melancholy way she'd grown accustomed to. The Doctor slid by a group talking with an awkward slide by and apology. A back corner cleared for a moment and she seized the chance, hiding away there.

No one knew her. No one would guess, though the lingering glance from Kate Lethbridge-Stewart more than unnerving. Regret trickled down her throat into a lump. _This is a mistake,_ she thought. But it's too late all the same. Blessedly as the service began, Kate looked away and did not return her scrutiny.

So many faces, but many new ones she wished she could learn the stories behind. Ripples from Sarah Jane's time with them. More ripples from others out in wider rings. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied the familiar form in a military jacket and breathed in hard, hoping he remained in a past where she was still he. Not that she didn't crave running to the front of the room, arms wide and shout to them all, "It's me! I'm the Doctor!" The hugs and the questions uncountable. U.N.I.T. hauling her off for testing and questioning. Just like old times. 

But she wouldn't do that. This was about Sarah Jane and must remain so, she mused as she closed her eyes. Her chest tightened as Martha spoke. How Yaz reminded her of Martha in an excellent way. How she feared a similar dangerous path that Martha went down. Yet here was Martha Jones, safe, full of joy and with Mickey and their child. Jo with her granddaughter, who had to shush her and peel her out of a deep hug with someone so they could start the service. Each stood and spoke, laughing and crying, and the Doctor only allowed her eyes to water in that manner a reasonable acquaintance. She resisted jumping every time her name was mentioned. What could she contribute to this that everyone didn't already say? They didn't even drop Sarah Jane off at the right city the first time, leaving her there as if she'd only been a taxi fare. Mistakes of their younger days. She'd made it up later.

As someone she didn't recall meeting spoke, she traveled in her mind, reflecting on the last time. There always was a last time. River taught her about those and she'd finally got it in her thick head for once instead of running the opposite direction. _Well, sort of,_ she mused. _Better than before, anyway._

It was her last regeneration, all grumpy and Scottish but still the only version of themselves capable of such an act. They traveled for as long as her strength held, running and then walking through the danger. The TARDIS found mild adventures for them. 

_"You didn't have to do this you know," Sarah Jane smiled at them, that toothless tight lipped kind that always telegraphed her intention for the Doctor to listen to a well delivered lecture._

_"Time machine, Sarah… lets me do anything I need to," They'd grinned back, leaning in their shoulder as Sarah Jane sighed and rested her head on it._

_"I'm old. You need young blood to travel with," she said._

_They laughed out, "Sarah Jane Smith, you've never been old. Never will be."_

_She leaned harder into their shoulder, "Oh hush. I know I cannot run like we used to… even I'm aware I'm near an ending. You hate those, I think. So why bring me?"_

_"You became like me… but the very best of me," The Doctor sighed. "You made everyone else better. Your son, his friends... I've always feared…" they'd swallowed a lump that_ _suddenly_ _snuck in their throat and Sarah Jane waited, eyes still steady_ _looking out_ _across the red ocean on the planet they'd stop on._

_When she knew the Doctor's words failed, she finished their thought. "You_ _were afraid_ _of so many things I suspect… that's why you always leave us." She closed her eyes_ _as she said it,_ _but slipped a hand over theirs._

_"I_ _do_ _care and I don't forget… I always say I do but… that's impossible," The Doctor murmured and felt Sarah Jane's jaw lift into a grin on their shoulder. They'd needed to say it. They never said it often, but she of all the companions deserved the words now. When death that they feared and ran from sat so close to them both._

_She sighed, leaning up off their shoulder, hand still on theirs." I think perhaps… watching this sunset—"_

_"It's_ _really_ _a moonset but yes…"_

_"Oh I missed those. You always found the best ones. I'd forgotten." She laughed_ _softly_ _as if to herself. "But yes, before you interrupted—"_

_"_ _Rudely_ _as always."_

_She cocked an eyebrow at them. "_ _The moon is nearly set_ _. I think it is time to go home, Doctor."_

_They nodded. "You were always right, Sarah Jane Smith."_

_She grinned, "Yes, I was."_

_"One more trip?"_

_She shook her head slow with a sigh. "Doctor…"_

_They stood, helping her rise_ _as well_ _. "I'm a selfish child of a man… always have been."_

_She leaned up and kissed their cheek, her thumb reaching, wiping away a whisper of lipstick_ _gently_ _" We all need to be_ _a bit_ _selfish sometimes."_

_"My Sarah Jane you never could," they'd grinned as they offered their arm to steady her walk back to the TARDIS._

The memory seared through her mind like fire and she pressed her hand into arm to feel something in its absence as it burned away. 

  
  


She noted everyone wandered around the crowded hall, some leaving. She edged along the wall, attempting a path between tables, but as she looked up to the door, her eyes traveled up to the face of none other than Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.

"Sorry I—"

"You must be one of the many aliens visiting… however not sure—"

"Yes…. shh," the Doctor said, grinning too wide with a finger held up as she leaned in. " Our secret. Yes… met the Doctor and Sarah Jane many… years? Yes. That is the time measurement used here, right? Don't really come to earth so I had to study up before coming here."

She folded her arms and rocked on her heels, biting her bottom lip. Kate stuck her hand out with a slight smile, and The Doctor stared at it.

"We shake hands as a greeting. I'm Kate Lethbridge-Stewart. Head of U.N.I.T."

The Doctor took her hand and shook it. "My name's unpronounceable here but the Doctor nicknamed me Jane. Jane… Smith. That was it. Hearing you have a name of Stewart? I wondered if all earth dwellers were named Smith…"

Kate stared, and The Doctor rambled on. "I mean it's silly but what was I to think, huh?" She chuckled nervously, looking around the room. "Or is there a Smith and Stewart divide? Sorry yeah I'm just curious that's all… should be traveling on though."

Kate's head cocked, "You certainly do know the Doctor… if you knew how to get here undetected. Also… those… clothes."

"He was a snappy dresser, right? So yeah, I took a bit of influence for this form."

"Is it not your natural form?"

Kate's voice is subtle but suspicious. 

"Hideous by earth standards I'm sure not bringing her out but yes… I… sorry for your loss. I just wanted to come say that so I'll be exiting then," The Doctor backed up, panic crawling up her spine as her hearts pumped in double time.

A yelp from her and the person she bumped into As she turned hands were running up her arms and shoulder where they planted as she stared wide eyed.

"Oh darling pardon me we did bump backsides? Hope it didn't hurt!"

The unmistakable Jo Grant. Or Jo Jones as she was now, the Doctor reminded herself. 

"Don't have my glasses sweetie but I... do I know you?" Jo spoke and continued without a breath, as the Doctor stood open mouth that turned into a smile the more Jo spoke. " One of his companions as well? There have been so many. He always did like them young and pretty and I can see that about you without glasses. Of course we all knew Sarah, I'm sure but…"

"I… no, we've never met. Jane… Jane Smith is not my name but what the Doctor called me."

"I'm Jo. I doubt that either spoke of me, but… “

"I'm an alien and met Sarah and the Doctor many years ago."

"Well welcome sweetie! Give us a hug, that's how we greet here!"

Before she could protest, tiny but powerful arms enveloped her. A hug. The kind that makes everything else fade. She couldn't recall the last time she had one. Especially not one so tight and long. She wrapped her arms around the small woman and held just as strong. She never wanted to let go, and her chest ached threatening tears. 

They found their way out anyway and Jo pulled back, saw them and wiped them away, holding the Doctor's face in her hands.

"We all miss her. The whole universe, darling, crying with us and for her, " Jo's voice dropped at the end, tears at the edge of her own eyes as well she wiped away, caring little for her eye makeup. 

Jo flashed a toothy wide grin and brought her in for one more hug and whispered in her ear. " I miss him too… maybe you do as well. You never forget him."

The Doctor could only nod, Jo patting her cheek before her eyes turned to someone else. She turned her attention to them as they approached. Kate had been pulled away as well. She desired to talk to Sarah's son. To his friends, ones that had so many adventures with her. To provide some kind of comfort, she found she had the words for more often now. Even if she couldn't provide them for herself. 

Her hearts threatened to beat out her chest, and the ache reminded her of the tingling beginning of regeneration. It wasn't. But memories swam into her cells and threatened her blowing her entire cover. To be loved once more by them all enticing.

But this wasn't for the Doctor and she sought her exit at last without another word. The back of the building side door opened by a waiter and she left without a backwards glance.

The waiter hadn't noticed her, but she noted an odd sound coming from the direction he walked. Something unearthly and sharp and she tasted the air, snatching out her sonic. She could look into it. " Might be something… but no" she shook her head and closed her eyes. 

Even if it was something awful and earth shatteringly terrible, the entire room in there is more capable than she'd be by herself. "I'll make it worse probably," she sighed as she walked the other way, back across the road in a lopping jog to the fields where the TARDIS waited. She'd read about it later and feel proud as a peacock. Her friends. Sarah Jane's friends. The best of them both. 

  
  



End file.
